What Memory Instantly Softens Your Heart?
Sit beside her and remember.
This week’s question was simple:
What memory instantly softens your heart?
Not your proudest moment.
Not your greatest accomplishment.
Not the thing you wish you could forget.
Just…
What softens your heart?
I have many moments.
Sometimes I think about kissing my mother’s forehead when she was living with early-onset Alzheimer’s. Those moments always bring a tenderness over me.
More recently, I was reminded of something that softened my heart all over again.
My husband and I decided to make a trip to Lowe’s. I wanted another bird feeder and a birdbath, and as we got out of the SUV, we passed a young couple with their little dog sitting in the cart.
They had thoughtfully placed a blanket in the bottom to make the dog feel secure, but the poor thing was clearly anxious.
As I do with almost every dog I meet, I stopped and asked, “Can I pet your dog?”
They smiled and said yes. In conversation, they mentioned they had brought the dog to Lowe’s to get out of the heat, but had forgotten to bring a leash.
Immediately, my mind thought, I wish I had a leash for you.
Before I could say another word, my beautiful, wonderful husband turned around, walked back to the SUV, grabbed our spare leash, and handed it to them.
“Here you go,” he said.
And then we simply continued our conversation.
It may seem like such a small thing.
But it softened my heart.
Not because he is perfect. Lord knows after more than twenty years together we can both see each other’s rough edges.
But moments like that remind me who he is.
Kind.
Thoughtful.
Generous.
And I have to admit, I was touched more by that gift than they probably were.
The young couple looked nothing like us. They had tattoos and piercings and a wonderful emo-punk style that I loved. They were sweet, grateful, and I trust that someday they’ll remember that kindness and pass it on when they can.
Maybe that’s naive.
But I don’t think so.
I believe kindness has a way of circling back around.
And perhaps our hearts know that.
This week, many women and a few men answered the question too. Some in private and some on the post itself.
One woman, who is currently fighting for her life, shared privately that her heart softens when she remembers life before cancer.
Her reply softened my heart.
Another said having a soft heart is their Achilles heel.
Oh, how I understand that.
And another reflected on the birth of her son.
As a mother of two boys, I understand that one too.
Which made me curious.
What does softening your heart feel like to you?
Does it feel tender?
Does it feel joyful?
Does it make you smile?
Or does it bring tears?
Does softness feel like strength?
Or weakness?
Because the meaning is held by the individual.
What feels beautiful to one person may feel painful to another.
And that too should be honored.
Thinking about this brought up another memory that surprised me.
I once saw a clip of Donald Trump after a rally that had very low attendance. He looked defeated.
And for a brief moment, I didn’t see politics.
I saw a human being.
I saw rejection.
Disappointment.
Perhaps even loneliness.
And my heart softened.
Not because I suddenly agreed with him.
Not because I approved of him.
But because we’ve all felt invisible.
We’ve all felt unwanted.
We’ve all experienced disappointment.
And I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to let someone else’s choices determine the kind of heart I carry through this world.
Which led me to another question.
Do we need empathy to experience a softened heart?
Or does a softened heart create empathy?
I honestly don’t know.
But I do know that whenever my heart softens, something in me settles.
My breathing slows.
My shoulders relax.
I smile.
I remember what matters.
I remember there is still goodness.
Still tenderness.
Still beauty.
And perhaps that is one of the gifts of this exercise.
Because you don’t have to stop with one memory.
Pull the thread.
Feel the softness.
Remember the dog you loved.
The kindness of a stranger.
The friend who stayed.
The child you held.
The laugh you can still hear.
The forgiveness you didn’t deserve.
The moment someone saw you.
The moment you saw them.
Notice what bubbles up.
See where the thread leads.
And if your eyes well up…
If you smile…
If your heart settles into a peaceful rhythm…
Perhaps that’s enough.
Because there is still softness in this world.
And maybe remembering that helps us become part of it.
Pull the Thread
What memory instantly softens your heart?
And if you stay there a little longer…
What else comes to mind?
