You Can Create Change Without Burning It All Down
Some of the biggest changes in my life didn’t start with a grand plan.
They started with one small, intentional choice.
The Myth of All or Nothing
I’ve met so many women who believe change has to be an all-or-nothing leap.
That if they can’t go from where they are to their dream life overnight, it’s not worth even taking the first step.
This belief doesn’t just keep them stuck—it can make the idea of change so overwhelming they never even try.
My Story: One Choice at a Time
When I stopped drinking more than two decades ago, I didn’t start with the thought: “I will never drink again.”
Honestly, I think that saved me.
One of my counselors wasn’t a fan of Alcoholics Anonymous, so I wasn’t locked into the idea that lifelong abstinence was the only definition of success. Most of the people in my group seemed to struggle week after week, and I didn’t quite understand why—until I experienced it myself.
Fifty-nine days into treatment, I let myself get pressured by my boyfriend at the time to attend my first AA meeting. He wanted more access and control over my program, and my outpatient treatment didn’t give him that. That very night, feeling the pressure to belong and “speak the language,” I ordered a beer and tried to numb out.
The following six months were a whirlwind.
He left—almost as if removed by the hand of God.
I lost my house, cars, businesses, money, most of my possessions… and a sponsor, and a recovery community.
But I didn’t lose my sobriety.
And I didn’t burn my life down all at once.
I made one conscious, intentional choice toward the change I wanted.
Why We Stay Numb
Often, when life feels unsatisfying, we know exactly what we don’t want:
We don’t want the drinking, the mindless snacking, the endless Netflix binges, the gambling, the constant scrolling.
But knowing what we don’t want doesn’t move us forward.
It’s not enough to push us toward something better.
We need something pulling us toward what we do want.
And here’s the tricky part—most women I work with can’t answer that question: What do you want?
They can list their “don’ts” and their “shoulds”:
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I should be happy.
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I should feel grateful.
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I should want what I already have.
But “should” is not the same as desire.
We were made to keep learning, growing, and experiencing the magic of life—for all of our days, not just our 30s or 40s.
One Small Change
If you want to create change without burning it all down, start small.
Start with something you can actually do consistently.
Here’s one you can start today:
For the next 30 days, write for three minutes a day answering one question:
“What do I want today?”
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Set a timer.
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Stop at three minutes.
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Don’t let yourself go longer—this will make it easier to stick with.
Three minutes is short enough to keep you coming back, but long enough to build the habit of listening to yourself.
Over time, that small act becomes a pull toward the life you actually want.
This Is the Return to Light
You don’t have to tear everything down to make a change.
You just need to take one intentional step in the direction of your desire.
And when you do, the momentum builds—without the destruction.
You are so loved.
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Journal Prompts You Can Create Change Without Burning It All Down
About Teresa Rodden
Teresa Rodden is a coach, author, and guide for women in their prime who are ready to stop numbing, start feeling, and live with purpose. Through her signature message, Love Yourself Back to Light, Teresa helps women reconnect with their truth, rewrite limiting narratives, and remember their brilliance. Whether through her writing, coaching programs, or live workshops, she invites women to embrace curiosity, courage, and the power of their own story.
Connect with Teresa on Instagram @i_am_teresarodden or learn more at TeresaRodden.com.
