You Can Be Bold Without Being Combative
When I was younger, I thought being bold meant being ready to fight.
You had to come in hot, armored up, ready to push back, defend, or debate. Boldness, in my mind, looked like force—and if you weren’t willing to stand on a table and raise hell, maybe you weren’t really bold.
But that version of boldness? It’s exhausting.
I’ve since learned that boldness doesn’t have to be combative. In fact, the boldest thing I’ve ever done is stay calm when my insides were shaking. Walked away when I wanted to scream. Spoke up when it would’ve been easier to shrink. Took the next right step when I didn’t know how the whole story would play out.
The Labels We Inherit
Growing up, my mom used alcohol as a kind of social lubricant. I was told she was just “shy,” and that word—shy—was handed down like a trait in our family.
But here’s what I’ve learned: “shy” was often code for “insecure,” and insecurity was rarely explored—it was just accepted. As kids, we were labeled shy too, and in that label, we were never given the tools to grow into bold, confident women. We were expected to cope, to manage, to adapt… not to rise.
Now, I want to be clear—my mom gave me so much love. That love is what saved me. But I also inherited patterns that told me to stay small, stay quiet, and never cause too much trouble.
When Insecurity Wears Armor
As an adult, I mistook insecurity for personality. If you criticized me, I thought it meant you didn’t like me. And if you didn’t like me, something must be wrong with me.
I would avoid conflict… until I exploded. I’d stay quiet… until I was seething. I’d take risks… but always stop short of the big bold leap. I’d tell myself, “This is more than most people would even try,” as if that made it okay to settle.
But boldness—true boldness—has nothing to do with how loud you are or how much you can tolerate. It’s not about bulldozing your way through life. It’s about listening to the still small voice inside and honoring it, even when your knees are trembling.
Reclaiming Boldness
Bold is asking for something you’ve never given yourself permission to want.
Bold is choosing the haircut you’ve always secretly wanted.
Bold is loving who you love without asking for permission.
Bold is telling the truth—your truth—when it would be easier to keep people comfortable.
And bold doesn’t need to be explained, defended, or proven. Bold is rooted.
Your Reflection
Where have you held yourself back because boldness felt too aggressive?
Where have you confused being kind or composed with staying small?
What would it look like for you to be bold—in your way?
This Is the Return to Light
This is what returning to light really means—it’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about remembering who you are beneath the conditioning, the labels, and the armor.
You already are bold. Let’s just help you recognize her again.
💛
You are so loved.
Free downloadable prompts. Journal_with_the_Light_Bold_Not_Combative
About Teresa Rodden
Teresa Rodden is a coach, author, and guide for women in their prime who are ready to stop numbing, start feeling, and live with purpose. Through her signature message, Love Yourself Back to Light, Teresa helps women reconnect with their truth, rewrite limiting narratives, and remember their brilliance. Whether through her writing, coaching programs, or live workshops, she invites women to embrace curiosity, courage, and the power of their own story.
Connect with Teresa on Instagram @i_am_teresarodden or learn more at TeresaRodden.com.
