When Values Speak: What Do You Truly Stand For?
I’ve found that when it comes to traditional values exercises—the kind where you check off a list of words like honesty, loyalty, freedom—most people don’t walk away with their deepest truths in hand. Even when given clear instructions like, “What would you take a stand for?” the responses often remain surface-level.
But that doesn’t mean the exercise is worthless. In fact, it’s an excellent way to prime the pump of introspection.
The Conversation That Changed Everything
Just yesterday, I was coaching a woman who’s navigating a major life crossroads. Like so many others impacted by the recent mass federal layoffs, she’s been searching for clarity.
To get started, I invited her to complete that classic values exercise. As expected, the initial results weren’t revealing much. But when we met again a few weeks later, something had shifted. With bright confidence, she exclaimed:
“I know what my values are—without a doubt!”
Of course, I leaned in with curiosity. “Tell me,” I said.
She proudly offered:
Security and stability.
We explored how those values were showing up in her actions. She was applying to jobs—some she wasn’t sure she even wanted—simply to feel secure. But something didn’t quite line up.
Because beneath the “logical” choices… she was still dreaming.
Risk Over Routine
In conversation, she shared that her most cherished memories came from times of uncertainty.
Like when she chose to attend college abroad instead of staying close to home.
Or when she moved to a quirky little suburb, even though friends questioned her decision.
Or more recently, when she attended conferences that spoke to her heart—instead of interviews that would’ve just paid the bills.
I asked, “What value was guiding you when you did those things?”
She paused and answered with clarity:
Fulfillment.
Then I asked, “If you had to rank fulfillment alongside security and stability—what comes first?”
Another pause. A knowing smile.
“That’s a good question,” she said.
The Truth Beneath the Surface
Values aren’t always obvious—especially when we’re speeding through life at 100 miles an hour. We have to slow down. Soften.
Listen beneath the noise of what’s expected.
Most people barely scratch the surface with these exercises. And that’s okay.
Because the real power isn’t just in identifying your values.
It’s in the work of remembering who you are.
That’s what we do in Return to Light—whether you read the book on your own, explore the prompts in the companion journal, or choose to work together for a few weeks to really excavate the richness at your core.
There’s a moment in the process where it clicks.
Not because you forced it—
But because you gave it time, space, and intention.
And suddenly, there it is. The light switch flips.
Stop Making It Fit—Let It Align
So many of us, especially women in our prime, are stuck in survival mode.
We’re trying to force puzzle pieces into a picture that no longer represents our heart.
We say, “This makes sense…”
But deep down, we feel the misalignment.
Why?
Because we’re still building our lives around past versions of ourselves.
Versions driven by different needs. Different dreams.
But you’re not that woman anymore.
You’ve raised the family.
You’ve supported the marriage.
You’ve built the career.
You’ve checked all the boxes.
And now…
Surely, you’re not done.
A Gentle Invitation
So here’s what I invite you to do—
Take a piece of paper, your favorite journal, or the Return to Light Companion Journal (with both blank and guided pages)…
Reflect on the places you’ve been. The relationships you’ve had.
The moments when you felt most alive.
What values were present?
Don’t force patterns.
Just relive the memories.
Gift yourself that time.
You deserve it.
You have one life.
And chances are, you’ve spent most of it doing the “do.”
So the real question is…
Are you ready to make time for YOU?
About Teresa Rodden
Teresa Rodden is a coach, author, and guide for women in their prime who are ready to stop numbing, start feeling, and live with purpose. Through her signature message, Love Yourself Back to Light, Teresa helps women reconnect with their truth, rewrite limiting narratives, and remember their brilliance. Whether through her writing, coaching programs, or live workshops, she invites women to embrace curiosity, courage, and the power of their own story.
Connect with Teresa on Instagram @i_am_teresarodden or learn more at TeresaRodden.com.
