What If Your Story Isn’t Over? Take the Pen and Explore

The Strength in Softness

A kind woman was once asked, “How can you be so gentle in a world that is so harsh?” She smiled and, pointing to her heart, she said: “When you are strong on the inside, you can afford to be soft on the outside, for there is no need to prove what already exists within.” – Tahlia Hunter

I was struck by these words when I read them today because I recently had a conversation with my husband about the woman I used to be—the one who broke car windows, got into physical altercations, and disregarded relationships. I was cold and disconnected. I wince thinking about the loneliness and darkness she felt.

But she—me—I softened. By intentionally choosing who I wanted to be and how I wanted to experience the rest of my life, I transformed. I chose love. I chose to explore who I was so I could become who I am. I wanted to meet her face to face, heart to heart, spirit to soul, and unpack the pain to understand why I made the choices I did, why I acted out the way I did.

Understanding the Pain

I learned that I wasn’t inherently bad; I was simply trying to survive. I was scared, insecure, and lacked confidence. I feared not having the answers, so I anticipated the worst and prepared for it. Rage made me feel something. But rage is exhausting. Eventually, I devolved into apathy—not caring whether I lived or died. Alcohol became the perfect companion. It expected nothing from me and guided me deeper into numbness.

Nothing overly extraordinary happened to shift my course. There was a visit to the emergency room. A doctor who seemed to care. But ultimately, there was a realization: I wasn’t done. My story wasn’t over.

What if I made a different choice? For the first time in my life, I was okay without having the answers or trying to control the narrative. I trusted that I would be OK. That was over twenty-two years ago. Since then, I have only become more resolved in who I am by understanding what I stand for.

Being unsure of the future now offers me a playground to explore the possibilities of what I don’t know yet, what I can still learn and experience, and how else I can expand and express the essence of me.

Writing as a Path to Healing

One of the ways I processed my pain and pursued freedom was by taking the pen. I invited all expressions of myself to the table and allowed thoughts and feelings to flow openly and honestly. No filters. No reasoning or excusing. And when I finally sat down to write Wholly Sober, my ancestors joined me. I could feel their love.

Through writing, I opened myself to deeper healing, and over time, I became more receptive to different avenues of self-discovery. As I grew a stronger sense of self, I became more open to other opportunities to heal. I recently joined a women’s circle where we were guided through an exercise. The teacher mentioned our “healthy” ancestors, and I flinched. My ancestors who surrounded me when I wrote my book weren’t “healthy” women—at least not in the way I had understood health.

At the beginning of our circle, we were invited to choose a stone or crystal from a table. I had never felt particularly drawn to crystals, so I let everyone choose first and then picked one without much thought.

During the exercise, as I held the stone, I realized that my ancestors are healthy and whole regardless of their human experience. I kept getting visions of the heavens, the evening sky with stars and the moon. When I opened my eyes, I saw the same sky reflected in the speckled flooring beneath me.

At the end of the circle, I asked about the stone. Someone suggested it might be Sodalite, though no one was certain of its healing properties.

When I got home, I looked it up. What I found was quite the coinkydink.

Sodalite teaches the nature of oneself in relationship to the universe, like gazing into a star-filled sky and forgetting the darkness to grasp the innumerable points of light.  It inspires insight, awakening, examination, and connection. Called the blue “Logic Stone,” Sodalite emits an easy, tranquil energy that clears the mind and elicits deep thought, expanding the ability to arrive at logical conclusions based on rational consideration. It enhances analysis, intuition, observation, and creativity, strengthening self-discipline, efficiency, and organization. Sodalite does not stimulate wisdom but rather clears one’s vision and intellect, opening the mind to formulate wisdom.

Once rigid in my thinking, I would have never considered a women’s circle. I am so glad I attended. It gave me unexpected insight I hadn’t considered before even decades into my healing journey. “When you are strong on the inside, you can afford to be soft on the outside…”

You Are Not Done

Pretty fascinating, right? I share this because I want you to receive the message: You are not done. You don’t have all the answers. And the greatest limitation we put on ourselves is thinking we do—that life must “make sense,” and fit what you already know.

I want to invite you to take the pen. Write out where you’ve been, who you’ve been, and what events directed your path. But don’t stop there.

Close your eyes and dream. Use your imagination as a playground for possibilities. Try on new ways of thinking. How else could your past be seen? How else could you tell your story?

What if your past held more meaning than you ever imagined? What if your story was still unfolding?

There is still time.

Take the Pen!

About the Author

Teresa Rodden is passionate about helping women find their voice and embrace their freedom through writing. As the author of Wholly Sober and a coach for over fifteen years, she has guided countless women in escaping limiting labels and beliefs. Utilizing a proprietary writing assessment process, she empowers women to explore their stories, reconnect with their truth, and learn to love themselves first—so they can love fully and live with purpose. Through her work, she helps women break free from destructive narratives and step into the limitless possibilities of their own becoming.

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