Despondent — Naming the Pain

Despondent.
I can feel it tugging on me.
Inviting me to stay awhile.

Yes, I am not numb.
I feel.
I see.

When we return to our light, we begin to accept that this—feeling despondent—is a natural response to unnatural events.

Like hearing your own city described as war-torn or burning down.
It’s disorienting. It shakes your sense of truth and safety.

I’ve felt this before.

Years ago, when Prince Harming would barrage me with hateful and cruel words, threatening violence one hour and calling me the “world’s greatest human” the next.
The inconsistency, the gaslighting—it made me want to disconnect, to stop feeling altogether.

So yes, I recognize this feeling.
But this time, I am better equipped.

I know how to anchor in my truth.
I know what matters most.
I know what I stand for.

And most importantly—
I know how to name the pain.

 

Naming the Pain

Too many of us are afraid to disrupt others with our truth.
So, we say the word we’ve all mastered:
“I’m fine.”

Even when we’re not.
Even when we’re filled with uncertainty, fear, anger, and something that might even resemble hate.

 

I Want to Talk About Hate

A very wise man once said,

“Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

As much as I sometimes feel it bubbling up, I refuse to give it life.
I won’t let it escape my lips.

I remind myself again and again:
I will not let their hate change who I am.

I am love.
I stay rooted in love.

When I respond, some may feel the sting of their own conscience. But I remember—they are still my brothers and sisters, even if they’ve lost their way.

This doesn’t mean I would call them friend.
It means I recognize them as humans caught in lies, choosing anger because it feels good. Because it gives them meaning and purpose—for now.

 

Choosing Love Anyway

They may think I’m naïve for believing Portland isn’t burning down.
They may believe their own narrative because it feeds their outrage.

But if believing in something better—something rooted in hope—makes me naïve,
then I will gladly be naïve.

Because believing in love feels better than drowning in hate.

Writing this out helps me remember who I am.
It reminds me what I stand for.

And with each word, I can feel the darkness lifting—
light returning to the edges of my spirit.

 

Return to Light

So, today I choose to:

• Smile at everyone I meet, no matter what they believe.
• Brighten someone’s day by recognizing their light.
• Dig back into my purpose—empowering women to return to their own light.

Because when one woman shines, others find their way home.

Even now, as I write, I feel my heart lighten.
The words bring warmth to my body and a smile to my face.

“I have decided to stick with love…”
— Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Always love.
Always light.

---

About Teresa Rodden

Teresa Rodden is a coach, author, and guide for women in their prime who are ready to stop numbing, start feeling, and live with purpose. Through her signature message, Love Yourself Back to Light, and her newest body of work, Shadow Love, Teresa helps women embrace every part of themselves — even the dark places — as essential to their brilliance.

Her work is about more than “fixing” what’s wrong; it’s about returning to truth, rewriting limiting narratives, and allowing the shadow to teach you how to shine. Whether through her writing, coaching programs, or live workshops, Teresa invites women to explore with curiosity, meet themselves with compassion, and reclaim the power of their own story.

Connect with Teresa on Instagram @i_am_teresarodden or learn more at TeresaRodden.com.