Prime Women, Numbing, and the Quiet Terror of Living the Wrong Life
Most women in their prime don’t call what they’re feeling pain.
They call it:
Numbness.
Dissonance.
Boredom.
Loneliness.
Disenchantment.
Unease.
Restlessness.
It doesn’t feel like trauma.
It feels like stagnation — like waking up inside a life you once chose…
and realizing you’ve quietly outgrown it.
And because every box is checked…
because you asked for this life…
because other people would covet it…
you tell yourself you should be satisfied.
You should be grateful.
You should stay.
So you do what countless women do when the walls start closing in —
you reach for something to numb the truth.
Alcohol.
Food.
Scrolling.
Shopping.
Anything to avoid the feeling of being trapped in a “successful” life that no longer feels like yours.
It’s not the worst problem in the world, right?
That’s what women tell themselves.
There are bigger issues than my glass of wine.
It’s not that bad.
I can deal with this later.
But later becomes years…
and years can easily become decades.
And when you zoom out and look at the next 5, 10, 20, 30 years…
you have to ask yourself the most important question:
Do I want to feel this way for the rest of my life?
The Cancer Story That Shook Me Awake This Morning
I read an article today about a woman who battled breast cancer for years.
Diagnosed in 2011.
Fought until 2015.
And when her cancer went terminal, spreading everywhere, she made a radical decision:
She didn’t want to live the end of her life doing what was expected.
She didn’t want to perform the role she’d been playing.
So she divorced her husband and lived the rest of her life on her terms.
What struck me wasn’t the divorce.
It was something she said in an interview:
“Hiding is not the agenda. The agenda is just making it safe to go through this and not have cancer be at the forefront of all of my days.”
That line pierced me.
Because that’s exactly why 28 Day Return to Light is so effective for women in their prime:
It gives them a safe, quiet, judgment-free space to explore what’s really going on —
without making alcohol the headline of their life.
She also said:
“It’s just something I’m going through, not who I am.”
Exactly.
Your habits are not your identity.
Your struggle is not your religion.
And your use of alcohol is not your destiny.
This is why recovery culture never fit me — because the label would’ve kept me drunk.
And it keeps many women silent.
You Don’t Have to Leave Your Husband to Find Yourself
I’ve written many times about how women fear that exploring their truth means they must leave their marriage.
You absolutely don’t.
Some women do — and it’s right for them.
But many women who begin exploring internally find their husband begins exploring, too.
Sometimes they meet each other again in the middle, remembering why they fell in love in the first place.
You don’t know what will happen.
You’re not supposed to.
Exploration is not destruction.
Exploration is truth.
Here Is the Real Question:
When it’s your final day…
your final hour…
your final breath…
Will you lie there thinking:
Hell yes, I rode the wave of my life. I am satisfied.
Or will you ache with regret because you stayed stuck in a life that stopped fitting long ago?
I talk about this in Chapter 7 of Return to Light —
that deep reckoning moment where you ask:
Is this the life I wanted?
Is this how I want my story to end?
Women in their prime don’t numb because they’re weak.
They numb because their soul is trying to wake them up.
And once you realize that…
The question isn’t whether alcohol is a “problem.”
The question is:
Are you willing to stop leaving your life on the table?
Teresa Rodden Return to Light
About the Author
Teresa Rodden is the author of Return to Light and the creator of the Return to Light Gatherings and 28 Day Return to Light, a transformative approach for women in their prime who feel disconnected, numb, or quietly trapped in lives that no longer reflect who they’ve become. For over fifteen years, Teresa has helped women release numbing habits, reconnect with their inner light, and discover new possibilities without labels, shame, or recovery culture. Her work offers a safe, judgment-free space for women to explore their truth, honor their deepest knowing, and choose the life their soul is asking for. Teresa believes every woman carries a light meant to guide her home to herself — and that it’s never too late to begin again.
