Women Are Not Pets: A Manifesto and a Testimony
You don’t have to endure abuse firsthand to feel the weight of it. Oppression, dismissiveness, and cultural devaluing seep into our bones. Women feel it. Even those who bless misogyny and play the “preferred pet” feel it—they’ve just learned to survive by accepting the cage.
And when we don’t see the cage, we numb ourselves to survive it. Alcohol. Food. Scrolling. Perfectionism. All of it symptoms of a deeper wound: a woman told she is less.
I didn’t just see cultural abuse—I lived inside it.
My biological father abandoned us when I was two, while my mother was pregnant with my sister. He never looked back. As a teenager, I reached out. I tried to keep a connection alive. But when I stopped trying, the silence was permanent. That silence taught me something brutal: men could walk away without consequence, and women—mothers, daughters—were left holding the weight.
My mother’s second husband was celebrated by the family. Not because he cherished her, but because he “took her off their hands.” Even though he smashed her through a coffee table, knocked out her teeth, and left her again and again, they told her she was lucky to have him. They convinced her she didn’t deserve better.
When I once asked what she would have done differently in life, she didn’t dream of school, travel, or freedom. She said, “I would have been better to Bob. He was so good to me.” That was the message: You are less. You are a burden. You should be grateful for scraps.
I absorbed it. I turned cold—toward men, toward myself. I treated men as worthless, because deep down I believed worthlessness was all any of us could expect. But eventually, my anger circled back. I found myself beneath the fist of another man’s fury, broken and believing I had no value.
When I wrote about my childhood sexual abuse, my uncle didn’t confront the abuser—he lashed out at my mother. After she suffered a traumatic health event, that same brother told her she would go to hell if she wasn’t baptized. He didn’t offer comfort. He didn’t offer baptism. He offered superiority, clothed in religion. My mother wept in fear.
I reminded her it wasn’t true—that God is love, not torment. Still, the fear was hard to shake. Eventually, she and I were baptized together—not because I needed it to be “saved,” but because she needed peace. That moment was holy—not by man’s interpretation, but by love’s intention.
And this is why I will not stay silent: too many men still wield the Bible as a weapon. They twist it to trap women—saying we shouldn’t vote, shouldn’t work, shouldn’t lead. That we are subservient by design. That our power is dangerous.
Maybe they’re right.
Our power is dangerous.
Dangerous to oppression.
Dangerous to cruelty.
Dangerous to cages.
But not because we rule by fear. We rise by love. And love is the most unstoppable force there is.
I do not hate men. My husband of 20 years is my friend and my equal. There are men who are strong enough, whole enough, to walk beside us without needing to dominate us. They are not threatened by our light—they celebrate it.
We are not pets.
We are not lesser.
It is time to rise.
To love ourselves so deeply that we refuse scraps.
To break cages built by culture, family, or religion.
To confront cruelty and call it what it is.
To stand side by side, not one step behind.
To lead with firmness, boldness, compassion, and love.
The way back is not through hate, not through fear, but through love. Love yourself—warts and all, scars and all. When you love yourself, you stop numbing. You stop settling. You rise whole, true, and free.
That is what it means to return to light.
Because women are not here to be owned.
We are here to be whole.
We are here to be light.
And the light will not be caged.
Always remember you are so loved!
Teresa Rodden Return to Light with Shadow Love
About Teresa Rodden
Teresa Rodden is a coach, author, and guide for women in their prime who are ready to stop numbing, start feeling, and live with purpose. Through her signature message, Love Yourself Back to Light, and her newest body of work, Shadow Love, Teresa helps women embrace every part of themselves — even the dark places — as essential to their brilliance.
Her work is about more than “fixing” what’s wrong; it’s about returning to truth, rewriting limiting narratives, and allowing the shadow to teach you how to shine. Whether through her writing, coaching programs, or live workshops, Teresa invites women to explore with curiosity, meet themselves with compassion, and reclaim the power of their own story.
Connect with Teresa on Instagram @i_am_teresarodden or learn more at TeresaRodden.com.
