Alive Over 45

“Your Best Years Begin When You Stop Treading Water and Start Living Fully.”

I want you to feel gratitude each day as deeply as you’d feel it breaking through the surface after struggling underwater—gasping, desperate, and finally, taking in that first breath of life. Imagine that every single day is like breaking through that surface. Your breath is a blessing.

There’s a subconscious phenomenon that creeps in around the age of 45: a growing sense that we’ve peaked, and life is now on a steady decline. We look around and wonder, Is this it? We feel like we’re drifting far from the shore, barely treading water, and panic sets in.

Let me share some ideas with you that might seem obvious, but perhaps you haven’t thought of them this way before.

When panic hits, we start flailing, gulping air, exhausting ourselves. The only thought looping through our minds is survival.

Then, a whisper of inner wisdom comes through: This isn’t helping. You grow calmer, and with intention, begin to make peace with where you are. You start to reflect on love, laughter, and the life you’ve lived.

But it doesn’t last long. You’re so tired. Your head keeps going under. You gulp water as you hope for rescue, but still, you’re not done.
And then—you see the shore.

It was there all along. But while you were splashing and panicking, the water and your frantic energy blocked your view. You’ve been facing the shore the entire time.

You swim toward it, energized by hope. But just as you’re about to reach it, exhaustion overcomes you. Your head goes under one last time, and you think, I’ve had a good life.

You drift away, peacefully submitting to what seems inevitable.

Suddenly, you wake—water spewing from your mouth, air rushing into your lungs. You gasp. Shocked, amazed, you declare:
“I am ALIVE.”

Our True Prime

Society would have us believe that our prime years are behind us—the time we spent raising children, building careers, and chasing achievements. But I’m here to tell you that’s not true.

Our real prime begins after those things.

When we start to feel like life might be “over,” that’s actually the signal that our prime is about to begin.

This is the time when we get to carry the wisdom of everything we’ve learned—the confidence born from our triumphs and even our failures—and use it to create a life that feels truer to who we are than ever before.

Our prime is the moment we stop living for everyone else and start living for ourselves.

It’s not about proving anything to the world anymore. It’s about rediscovering what makes us feel alive and stepping boldly into that light.

So, if you feel like you’ve been drifting, lost in the waves, let me remind you: this is your time. Your prime isn’t behind you. It’s right here, waiting for you to claim it.

The Persistent Pain

You’ve heard me say that my mother inspired my work. It’s true. She carried the spirit of pain—a Persistent Apathy with an Inclination to Numb. She couldn’t name her pain, but it was like a slow dripping poison inside her. She kept moving, not because she was chasing the light, but because she was running from the darkness.

I want you to pursue the light. Chase after it with everything you’ve got.

Some women, like my mother, feel disconnected from themselves much earlier than others. It can happen as early as their late twenties. But for most women I work with, it hits around 45.

These women are brilliant, successful, and attractive. Their lives, on the surface, seem enviable. And yet, there’s a pain—a persistent, gnawing ache they can’t quite name.

They’ve turned to no-fail habits to numb it: alcohol, food, screens, marijuana, or even identities or roles that feel “safe” but keep them from seeing the truth. They’ve drifted so far they’ve lost sight of themselves.

Remember, You Are Alive

To these women—and to you—I want to say:

You are alive. And as long as you’re alive, you can create lasting memories and make meaningful connections and discoveries about yourself that will astonish and delight you.

Go after life with the same vigor as escaping death. Every single day you open your eyes, you have a new chance. Not everyone gets that.

Take it. Breathe it in. BE ALIVE.

About the Author
Teresa Rodden is a coach and writer dedicated to helping women in their prime reconnect with their true selves and create lives of purpose and meaning. As the creator of the 28 Day Resolve program, she offers compassionate support for those seeking recovery from harmful patterns, including overuse of alcohol, food, or other behaviors. Her work focuses on reducing stigma and shame, encouraging women to embrace their brilliance, and guiding them toward a path of authenticity and fulfillment. Connect with Teresa for inspiration and practical tools to rediscover your best self.